STATE OF MIND...WHAT'S YOURS?!!

If you're like me, you have a few things in life that you really care about. For most of us it's pretty straightforward. For me it's my family, friends, career etc. Pretty straightforward, right? (lol) I remember when everything in life for me and my family was pretty easy. We didn't really have any worries of grave concern. We went where we wanted, did what we wanted. Everyone was happy and healthy, finances were cool. We were quite content. Until we weren't.

 

At first when things seemed to be a little rocky we didn't notice very much. We were so consumed with feeling great, riding the wings of past consistent memories of uninterrupted happiness that all else faded in the background until the background became the foreground. Talk about life altering and challenging. Me, the super upbeat, optimistic one chose to be in complete denial...determined to change things back to HAPPY. I didn't want to see, acknowledge or admit that I was in way over my head. I just knew that if I kept my head down and worked tirelessly I could reinstate my families calm and peace of mind. Sadly, it didn't work out that way. Instead the flood gates of CHALLENGES opened and rushed over us like a raging storm.

 

In what felt like a blink...my mood shifted, my disposition was off putting, my energy was on autopilot. I was having an out of body experience...that before this I had only heard about on television or somewhere off in the distance from others conversations but now I was living it. I must admit it was zero fun. Everything I knew how to do just didn't seem to be enough to transport me and mine out of this difficult time and it hurt bad. I used to say in all my optimistic wisdom "If you want something different, do something different. You're not stuck!" Then one day I realized I was "STUCK" and I hated it. I isolated. I cried. I prayed. I was angry, sad, depressed, defeated...until I decided "ENOUGH!!!!!!!"

 

I was tired of being tired, tired of being sad, tired of not feeling like myself...I had had it with the "gloomy show". So while things had yet to improve in life at that time I decided to be proactive in controlling what I could. I reached out to friends, shared what was going on and they listened and encouraged me. They got me out of the house, although I didn't feel like it at first and it helped. Before I knew anything I was laughing out loud and it felt like air and I felt all this energy come rushing back.

 

If you've ever been without something or someone and felt the loss of that...you can only imagine how it feels to find it again. So I don't have to tell you when I found my HAPPY again I was beyond grateful. I had joy like I never remembered having before and  I couldn't wait to get out there and spread it around. On a side note: I was quite the giggly girl in school and although I think my teachers secretly loved my joyful exuberance they would still yell my name and say "If you want to tell jokes, get paid for it!" and that would crack me up too...Go figure. No disrespect to my teachers, but sorry guys these jokes are on me. I went from family member to family member telling joke after joke and we laughed til we cried. It felt good.

 

So I learned that it's ok to take a pause and cry when necessary.

 

I learned that isolating for too long will only make you hurt worse.

 

I learned that friendship is a two way street. I'm not just there for them. They're there for me too.

 

I learned that smiles, joy, happiness is a gift. A free gift at that, with endless benefits. So go get some.

 

The reality for me was I was never defeated. I was simply in unchartered territory. Rising to the occasion to get back to my best me had everything to do with humility, strength and love. I'm happy to say I am 3 for 3.

 

My state of mind is on Cloud 9...WHAT'S YOURS?!!!!