Happiness: (n.)
- The state or quality of being happy; the pleasurable experience that springs from the possession of good or the gratification of desires; enjoyment, blessedness.
- Good fortune; luck; prosperity
- Unstudied grace; aptness or felicitousness
I can remember a time where I wanted for nothing. Isn't that cool?!! I can remember a time when I was completely happy. I was living the life I wanted to live. Without a worry or care, I just woke up each day and thought "It's on you, whatever you want to do...you can do!" My family was great, my money was great, my relationship was great, my friends were the best...everything was absolutely darn near perfect. I was hands down thee poster child for happiness. How refreshing to sit here and recall that time to memory.
Back then, my plate was completely full and I loved it that way...still do actually. I spent many hours during the week as a stylist/make up artist and during the afternoons I would volunteer at my elementary school as a dance choreographer and I LIVED for being there with those kids. It's nice going to places and seeing people who are way excited to see you. It makes me feel great to know that my contributions make a positive, impactful difference...so it was an honor and a privilege to be with those kids, doing what we totally loved to do and that's dance.
After one year, I stepped down from teaching dance and went on to focus on my dreams. Some sacrifices were made but for the most part I was thrilled with everything that I was accomplishing. Life was at an all time high. Traveling, always meeting new people, shopping(I LOVE TO SHOP...SHOCKER, right?!!) always on the move, showing no signs of slowing down, until...
I made a decision that had a domino effect like you wouldn't believe & I loss what felt to me like everything. House, financial stability, relationship, friends, my independence, my sanity(not crazy per say but depressed to the nth degree...for sure). Just like that my entire world was changed and it didn't ask for my permission either.
I felt like I was having an out of body experience. Feeling like "Just a minute ago it was all love and now it's simply devastating." I wondered how I was able to breathe. I wondered if I would ever be the same again. I wondered when I would laugh or smile again sincerely. I wondered when I would ever pick up the phone and talk to my remaining friends again because at that point I had totally shut the world out. The thought of food made me nauseous. All I wanted to do was sleep. I was in bad shape, wasn't I? I agree...IN BAD SHAPE!!
How did I make it through?!!
Good question. The answer is...I don't know...well, not entirely anyway. At first I was in so much pain, weighed down by disappointment, that I felt like I was literally walking through water. While the whole world seemed to be running around me at the speed of light, I felt like I was moving in slow motion. Makes complete sense. If it's true that time flies when you're having fun, it stands to reason that it moves at a snails pace when you're miserable and I was.
The turning point for me was when I walked into a salon and met the coolest women on the planet. I was hired on the spot and instantly I had a brand new family...for real. That hardly ever happens, when everyone is cool as a fan and talented at what they do, with a great head for business for the cherry on top(lol). I, overnight, gained 6 sisters. We worked our hearts out but it never or should I say hardly ever felt like work. We laughed pretty much all day. Treated each other to lunch all the time and saw each other outside of work too. #WEBONDED
So being around all this positivity, talent and humor...you couldn't help but thrive. So things were looking up in the best way. I could feel myself becoming myself again. I was excited to get up in the morning. I had someplace to go that was everything I needed and strangely enough, everything I wanted. My financial stability was back!!!!!! YAAAAY!! My swag was on a gazillion!! #WINNING I finally got my mind right and that made it a pleasure to focus on my dreams again because now I was able to do it with the right energy.
Which brings me to write this to you today. When I would hear rich people say "Money doesn't equal happiness." I have to admit, just like you, I thought "YEAH RIGHT!!" & then you mature a bit more and you experience life in a 3 dimensional way and you then say "Well, it may not equal happiness but it sure makes things easier." Raise your hand if you'd like to sign up for easier(I wish I had a billion hands I could raise personally...lol). It kinda all came full circle for me when I heard this SUPERSTAR say "There's nothing more depressing than having everything and still feeling sad. You must learn to water your spiritual garden." To me that was profound.
That hit home for me because I had earned money and burned money. Had homes and cars, fly clothes, jewelry and furs and when I hit my rock bottom I still had all those things(less the home) but not one pair of shoes or necklace or handbag or fur coat or car in the driveway brought me one ounce of comfort. Not one. I was left with no choice but to look within and look to God and ask in thee most humble way possible for help because I had totally run out of ideas and I was flirting with insanity and flirting hard(went as far as kissing insanity smack dab on the mouth...lol).
I thank God for my family for many reasons but mostly because they are my safety net. They catch me before I completely crash and burn. They love me for me and I don't have to pretend for a moment when around them. It's wonderful. We talk about everything, my dreams, my goals, my faith, my spirituality and it helps...not necessarily right away all the time but it does help. This help, has helped me put many things into perspective and has inadvertently saved my life.
I have to admit, without being able to financially help my family, I felt totally empty. I felt sad. Even though they would say to me "Money is not the only way that you contribute to this family." I would hear that but not really because to me it meant that I was inadequate. I know that's something that proud men usually feel when they are unable to help their families monetarily but surprise women often feel that way too.
One of my sisters always speaks about finding and following your purpose, equating it with finding long-term happiness. It's like I hear more people saying that now more than ever...FOLLOW YOUR PURPOSE? What is this PURPOSE that some speak of?
Purpose or Calling= The one thing you were created to do with little or no effort that gives you true fulfillment and satisfaction in life, operating in the zone where you naturally fit.
Some of you may be thinking
"Oh, is that all? Just find my purpose and voila, I will be happy? I will matter? I will be fulfilled and accomplished? Well, SIGN ME UP!!"
I said the same. I can tell you now, at that time I didn't know the sacrifices that came as an uncompromising package deal as you walk your path of PURPOSE. I didn't know that in your journey to become the best at what's natural to you would have so many let downs, that it wouldn't automatically lead to the glitz and glamour. In fact it's quite to the contrary. Instead of grandeur and public displays of affection from the masses...you may more than likely receive rejection and persecution. Are you ready for that?
We would all like to have a life where we never have to experience hurt and pain, where our hard work and talents are more than enough and speak for themselves, where you can take a person(s) at their word without doubt or hesitation but this is not the world we live in unfortunately. You have to be strong enough to not only make a decision but support the decision you make with tireless passion, hard work and determination. If the sight of disappointment extinguishes your passion, maybe you weren't truly passionate to begin with.
FAME, MONEY, POWER and RESPECT...does not happen overnight. It just doesn't. Remember, man is so fickle. They'll love you today and feel completely different tomorrow, so don't do it for the love of having your ego stroked if you don't want your self esteem to be hinged solely on the opinions of others. Making a positive difference in the lives of others is a gift that keeps on giving. It's selfless, heartwarming and gratifying over and over again. The world needs this kind of selfless generosity.
Back then, my plate was completely full and I loved it that way...still do actually. I spent many hours during the week as a stylist/make up artist and during the afternoons I would volunteer at my elementary school as a dance choreographer and I LIVED for being there with those kids. It's nice going to places and seeing people who are way excited to see you. It makes me feel great to know that my contributions make a positive, impactful difference...so it was an honor and a privilege to be with those kids, doing what we totally loved to do and that's dance.
After one year, I stepped down from teaching dance and went on to focus on my dreams. Some sacrifices were made but for the most part I was thrilled with everything that I was accomplishing. Life was at an all time high. Traveling, always meeting new people, shopping(I LOVE TO SHOP...SHOCKER, right?!!) always on the move, showing no signs of slowing down, until...
I made a decision that had a domino effect like you wouldn't believe & I loss what felt to me like everything. House, financial stability, relationship, friends, my independence, my sanity(not crazy per say but depressed to the nth degree...for sure). Just like that my entire world was changed and it didn't ask for my permission either.
I felt like I was having an out of body experience. Feeling like "Just a minute ago it was all love and now it's simply devastating." I wondered how I was able to breathe. I wondered if I would ever be the same again. I wondered when I would laugh or smile again sincerely. I wondered when I would ever pick up the phone and talk to my remaining friends again because at that point I had totally shut the world out. The thought of food made me nauseous. All I wanted to do was sleep. I was in bad shape, wasn't I? I agree...IN BAD SHAPE!!
How did I make it through?!!
Good question. The answer is...I don't know...well, not entirely anyway. At first I was in so much pain, weighed down by disappointment, that I felt like I was literally walking through water. While the whole world seemed to be running around me at the speed of light, I felt like I was moving in slow motion. Makes complete sense. If it's true that time flies when you're having fun, it stands to reason that it moves at a snails pace when you're miserable and I was.
The turning point for me was when I walked into a salon and met the coolest women on the planet. I was hired on the spot and instantly I had a brand new family...for real. That hardly ever happens, when everyone is cool as a fan and talented at what they do, with a great head for business for the cherry on top(lol). I, overnight, gained 6 sisters. We worked our hearts out but it never or should I say hardly ever felt like work. We laughed pretty much all day. Treated each other to lunch all the time and saw each other outside of work too. #WEBONDED
So being around all this positivity, talent and humor...you couldn't help but thrive. So things were looking up in the best way. I could feel myself becoming myself again. I was excited to get up in the morning. I had someplace to go that was everything I needed and strangely enough, everything I wanted. My financial stability was back!!!!!! YAAAAY!! My swag was on a gazillion!! #WINNING I finally got my mind right and that made it a pleasure to focus on my dreams again because now I was able to do it with the right energy.
Which brings me to write this to you today. When I would hear rich people say "Money doesn't equal happiness." I have to admit, just like you, I thought "YEAH RIGHT!!" & then you mature a bit more and you experience life in a 3 dimensional way and you then say "Well, it may not equal happiness but it sure makes things easier." Raise your hand if you'd like to sign up for easier(I wish I had a billion hands I could raise personally...lol). It kinda all came full circle for me when I heard this SUPERSTAR say "There's nothing more depressing than having everything and still feeling sad. You must learn to water your spiritual garden." To me that was profound.
That hit home for me because I had earned money and burned money. Had homes and cars, fly clothes, jewelry and furs and when I hit my rock bottom I still had all those things(less the home) but not one pair of shoes or necklace or handbag or fur coat or car in the driveway brought me one ounce of comfort. Not one. I was left with no choice but to look within and look to God and ask in thee most humble way possible for help because I had totally run out of ideas and I was flirting with insanity and flirting hard(went as far as kissing insanity smack dab on the mouth...lol).
I thank God for my family for many reasons but mostly because they are my safety net. They catch me before I completely crash and burn. They love me for me and I don't have to pretend for a moment when around them. It's wonderful. We talk about everything, my dreams, my goals, my faith, my spirituality and it helps...not necessarily right away all the time but it does help. This help, has helped me put many things into perspective and has inadvertently saved my life.
I have to admit, without being able to financially help my family, I felt totally empty. I felt sad. Even though they would say to me "Money is not the only way that you contribute to this family." I would hear that but not really because to me it meant that I was inadequate. I know that's something that proud men usually feel when they are unable to help their families monetarily but surprise women often feel that way too.
One of my sisters always speaks about finding and following your purpose, equating it with finding long-term happiness. It's like I hear more people saying that now more than ever...FOLLOW YOUR PURPOSE? What is this PURPOSE that some speak of?
Purpose or Calling= The one thing you were created to do with little or no effort that gives you true fulfillment and satisfaction in life, operating in the zone where you naturally fit.
Some of you may be thinking
"Oh, is that all? Just find my purpose and voila, I will be happy? I will matter? I will be fulfilled and accomplished? Well, SIGN ME UP!!"
I said the same. I can tell you now, at that time I didn't know the sacrifices that came as an uncompromising package deal as you walk your path of PURPOSE. I didn't know that in your journey to become the best at what's natural to you would have so many let downs, that it wouldn't automatically lead to the glitz and glamour. In fact it's quite to the contrary. Instead of grandeur and public displays of affection from the masses...you may more than likely receive rejection and persecution. Are you ready for that?
We would all like to have a life where we never have to experience hurt and pain, where our hard work and talents are more than enough and speak for themselves, where you can take a person(s) at their word without doubt or hesitation but this is not the world we live in unfortunately. You have to be strong enough to not only make a decision but support the decision you make with tireless passion, hard work and determination. If the sight of disappointment extinguishes your passion, maybe you weren't truly passionate to begin with.
FAME, MONEY, POWER and RESPECT...does not happen overnight. It just doesn't. Remember, man is so fickle. They'll love you today and feel completely different tomorrow, so don't do it for the love of having your ego stroked if you don't want your self esteem to be hinged solely on the opinions of others. Making a positive difference in the lives of others is a gift that keeps on giving. It's selfless, heartwarming and gratifying over and over again. The world needs this kind of selfless generosity.
What's your motivation?
***
Don't buy into the idea that unless you're on tv or nationally recognized your life doesn't matter. THAT IS A BOLD FACE LIE. Anyone who has ever lent a helping hand, a kind word, a warm hug, a listening ear...you personify greatness. You may have been the bridge between whether a person wanted to live to fight another day or completely give up. Sometimes we may be in trouble but are either too proud or embarrassed to ask for help, maybe we're in a bad head space where we feel nobody cares...so maybe just reaching out to someone asking "How can I help you?" would make all the difference in the world. Who knows? You may very well be instrumental in evoking happiness. What are you waiting for? Ready? Set, GOOOOOOO!!
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